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So those of you that have seen my social media updates will know I have a massive op coming up.
I’m booked in for mon 20th of Jan for my reconstruction. This time it will be done from my own body. The back of my thigh to be precise. Yes correct i will have leg tits although the medical term is erm…flaps.
It is classed as major surgery. It will take around 10 hours with 2 surgeons so it’s not a decision I’ve taken lightly at all.
I’ve deliberated over it for quite some time swaying from having it done to removing the right breast (which is literally just an implant as all tissue is removed) weighing up all the pros and cons.
I’ve always struggled with 1 breast I can completely understand why some women choose to stay with 1 and that’s great if it works for them. But I’ve always found training incredibly hard with 1 breast. And training is such a huge part of my life I need it to be right. It’s both my businesses, my job, my passion, my escape and my sanity.
I feel lopsided uneven and unbalanced, high lighted by a prosthetic that moves around when working out vigorously (which I do a-lot).
I felt I would be fine with no boobs. I’m a confident enough women to deal with it I’ve fed my babies I have a man. If he leaves because i have no tits after what I’ve been through, he is the wrong man. I love boobs. I loved my boobs. I love other peoples boobs. But they just didn’t love me.
However that being said I had several occasions where the operation date was changed due to my strokes (medical records were not handed over to the reconstruction team so when they found out I’d had 2 strokes they felt they were too recent for such a huge op and the date was changed) this gave me more time to think and think I did. Essentially I’m still young and I’ve had enough of flitting between 2 going out bras and the heaviness and how uncomfortable prosthetics were for me. When it looked like a girls trip to Las Vegas had to be put on hold for the God knows what time, the girls were lovely and said we could shift the date but I just hated the thought of going with 5 different prosthetics in my case. My swimming one my training 1 my going out 1 etc. I’m still young why shouldn’t I have a shot at this.
But the down side is the recovery, seems like it will be months. Well they are actually removing tissue fat and veins from the backs of my thighs and reattaching it to make boobs keeping the blood flowing etc. So no sitting down for 2 weeks!! No lie. NO ACTUAL SITTING. No driving or being driven for 4-6 weeks. No lifting anything other than the kettle for 2 months. This is utter madness for someone like me and also absolute hell and financially will be a massive challenge. But I just need some kind of closure. I know I will always be living with cancer now. But this is what I need to move on from the hellish 2 and half years I’ve had.
I made the mistake of booking a weekend away with my girls once the op was moved again for definite. But I should of known. I’ve been through this time and time again arranging things and having to cancel them booking things and and having to move them. Weekends away, short breaks, daytrips, nights out, holidays.
It was a definite move for the op. The surgeons got the all clear from my stroke doctor I’m no more at risk to have a stroke after 9 months as I am at 2 years or 10 years although a more at risk than someone who has not had a stroke. But that will always be the case.
Some of the girls wanted me to put off the op. And have 1 last blast as it were. I even asked the surgeons if this was possible. It was. I’m top of the waiting list so really I can call a month that works for me. But mentally I cant have this hanging over my head. Imagine something you’re dreading but it constantly looming somewhere in the future. It’s a bit like having a meal we always eat the thing we don’t like first right. Get it over and done with! I wont enjoy being away thinking at some point I have to do this. It was different when there was no other choice. But now there’s an opportunity and I’m going to take it.
So hopefully when I’m able I’ll blog again about my progress.
In the mean time please please be patient with your orders I will get to them or get others to do them asap but there will probably be a delay on them expect up to 3 weeks delivery. Apologies in advance. But hey you have the new AS FUC range to keep you going. And if any of you would like to support shine cancer support with a last minute calendar sale I still have some available and that would be awesome.
As always thanks for the support. And I’m going to be sensible with recovery but also push boundaries as far as I’m allowed. Come on you wouldn’t expect anything else.
So guys see you on the other side. Come on the leg tits! FUC x